The story of my ectopic pregnancy because that's just what it is!

Almost a year ago, I survived a life threatening medical emergency. Let me just put it out straight. I had an ectopic pregnancy rupture and by the time I checked into the hospital, it was already too late. 

So this was last December. Argentina was playing the world cup semi-final that night. I had a lower abdomen pain since 3 in the afternoon with slight spotting and I clearly ignored the symptoms. I went to see a gynaecologist after school who casually remarked that it could have happened because I had taken a pill. She advised me to get an ultrasound done but this wasn't my regular gynaecologist so I wasn't keen on doing an USG and thought that I could wait for one more day until my GYNAEC came back. So I again ignored the symptoms and went home to take some rest.

I was a bit alarmed when the pain didn't subside even after I took a painkiller. It was only around 10 at night when I finally decided to go to the hospital again. Just to be 'on a safe side'. 🙄

Even when I was lying in the hospital bed, I was sure I was alright and going back home after a few oral medicines. It was only after my urine pregnancy test came positive that I knew something was gravely wrong. After the positive pregnancy test, I was rushed for an USG where the doctor panicked because apparently, I was bleeding profusely internally and he told my mother that an ectopic pregnancy rupture was as good as a bad heart attack and I had slim chances of survival. The radiologist called the nurse to call the surgeon immediately and in that moment of chaos and panic, I passed out. 

When I woke up in that poorly lit USG room with doctors and nurses walking in and out, I told myself I probably wasn't going to make it out of the hospital. I called my father to come to the hospital. Thankfully, my mother was staying with us for my cousin's wedding that night so she'd come to the hospital with us. 

I was immediately taken for the operation. Doctors walked in, casually talking about how they were getting ready to watch the game. I must say their light hearted conversations did distract me for a few minutes. I asked my sister if she was scared and she honestly replied that she was actually scared for me. I very well understood that my situation wasn't very hopeful. 

I said my goodbyes in my heart and told myself I had no regrets. My husband was told about the risks of the surgery. I could see it in his eyes, the fear that he couldn't talk to me about. I was only glad that it was happening to me and not to my loved ones because I don't know how everyone else was dealing with this sudden frightening situation. I couldn't even imagine what I'd do if I was the one outside the operation theatre. 

I said my prayers. In times of fear, I always go back to this one conversation I once had with my Maa before my C-section. It's always comforting.

Needless to say, I survived. I was discharged after 2 more nights in the hospital with a pipe and a bag to drain out all the excess fluid out of my body. I stayed at home with that bag dangling out of a hole in my body for about a week more. 

I remember meeting the surgeon after the surgery. He jokingly said, 'tapai ta bachnu bhaecha ta'. Still don't know what to make out of it. 

A year later, I am less negligent and more aware of the signs and symptoms my body give me. I am trying hard to work on my physical and mental health. Trying hard everyday to watch what I eat and be more mindful of how I live my life everyday. 

Some days I feel like it was just a small incident and I survived it but on days like today, I wonder what if I hadn't gone to the hospital that night. What if that pregnancy hadn't ended in such a terrible way! 

The what ifs of that night will always stay with me as a reminder of how blessed I am and how beautiful this life is. It will remind me to laugh a lot more, be kinder & gentler. 

And most importantly, to always be thankful for this body and mind which went through all of that and didn't give up.