Scarlet Writes

She tried to fly. Fly high. Unaware that the wind was strong and her wings so weak. She remained unflustered. Unperturbed. Put up a brave face but with a trembling heart. Slowly, the gust of wind underneath her wings carried her higher. Then, she soared. She soared so high. Never to look back ever again. Have you ever felt like giving up? Not knowing where you went wrong and what you didn’t do enough. I have felt like that. So seldom but yes, I have. The last few days have been tough with a few mishaps here and there and every day bringing a new challenge. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t made the right choices and a thought has crossed my mind, more than once, that may be I overestimated myself. I have reflected upon my decisions and wondered where I went wrong.   And just like that, I have also realized that there is no right or wrong decision. There are only decisions. Decisions made. That decision may have proven not to be the best one with time but it wa...

As I scroll down the news feed on Facebook, I see a lot of friends. If I had to categorize them, this is how I’d do it: a. Close family members and friends about whom I’d know even if facebook wasn’t there. b. Classmates and friends whom I haven’t met since the last day in school. c. Friends of friends who are now my kind friends, the kind I wouldn’t meet without that one common friend. d. Friends I have never met in my life but became friends on facebook somehow so now we are friends who never meet. e. Friends who were once only coworkers. Or coworkers who could never be friends. f. Neighbors and their friends. g. (And this is the most interesting of all friends) Once best friends. Well, there aren’t many of them. But I do visit their profile every now and then to see what’s going on in their life. And there is also facebook sending you daily reminders of how life once was with them through “See Your Memories”. I never miss out on seeing my memories. It tells me ho...

Like every other year, this year too I thought of trying out my luck by applying for DV. And with the situation that our nation has been stuck in for so long, I was very sure I’d apply for DV this year. However, like every other year, I didn't try this year either.  I am almost certain I am not the only one who thinks of leaving everything behind and taking off in an airplane to a faraway land. Think of it; we have no safe drinking water running in our taps, let’s not even talk about fuel and cooking gas shortage. On top of it all, when the electricity went off at home for more than 12 hours yesterday, I was sure that this country is an uninhabitable country and I was applying for DV, the first thing today. Well, some of my plans never materialize. But this godforsaken country is such that you can’t even abandon it so easily. I really don’t know what I mean when I say country. Am I referring to the impotent, imbecile government which has failed us so many times or am I referr...

Divya came to see me this morning with her 1 st Term Examination Report Card. I had gone to collect the report card yesterday to her school. If you don’t remember Divya, here’s a quick flashback. She was studying in Teresa Academy and was struggling very hard to pass in every exam. She requested us to admit her in a Nepali medium school because she thought English was very difficult for her. So we admitted her in Grade VI this year at Baba Boarding School, a morning school located at Tilganga that’s run as a private school till Grade V and as a public since Grade VI.   So, she came this morning. She scored 64% and stood first in her class. When I was at her school yesterday, she also introduced me to her friend who stood second. Divya was super- duper excited and I am just so glad that we didn’t insist her on studying in an English medium school. There is another little girl we are supporting right now. She is way above the age for studying in Grade I but she comes to school...

We reached Dhading around 1p.m. yesterday and spent most of the afternoon talking to the officials of Nepal Police, Nepal Army, C.D.O. and other locals. We had planned to reach Kimtang Besi to hand over the materials, collected from FNCCI & purchased with the donations from a dear friend, Susie Hutchison, my sister Eliza Shrestha and the company she works for in Australia,  Schneider Electric .  The road to Kimtang Fedi had been destroyed by the landslide; however, all of us were hopeful that the road would be cleared by this morning which didn’t happen. So, we had to drop the idea of reaching Kimtang Fedi and handing over the goods to the victims directly. It is sad that despite our efforts we couldn’t meet the people affected in Kimtang Fedi. Nonetheless, something positive came out of this trip. I am writing this long post to share my team’s experience at Dhading. So here’s what I think about the relief distribution process at Dhading. 1. The Challenges: ...

I spent almost an hour this afternoon, out in the sun, at the school play ground; talking to Divya and Sarswoti about mundane everyday events in life. It started with an inquiry about how they were doing their exams and I asked if they were attempting all the questions or not. As I had feared, Divya hasn't been doing her exams well. After all, how can you expect someone who lives in a tiny shed in one of the busiest temples in Kathmandu with her alcoholic father and three young siblings to study well, without a candle? That's reality for Divya. Divya fears that she might have to leave school and she is afraid she will be forced to stay at home, taking care of her 1 year old sister while her mother goes to work and father goes to yet another alcohol binge. I am afraid for her too. She has to sleep in that shed in Pashupati ghat area fearing for her life as she can't even latch the door properly.  Sarswoti's story is a little different. Not any be...

When I was in school, I was insecure about a lot of things. I used to have a lot of pimples. Well, I still have a lot of them. My hair never looked right. My uniform was never of the right shade. The skirt was one shade lighter and shirts were always an inch or two shorter. I was always an average student. I never really participated in any extracurricular activities and/or sports. I was just an insecure, completely normal teenage girl, giggling all the time. At that point of time, I thought, I’d always be an insignificant, average, random girl in life. As I stand on my 27 th year of life, I look back at all my insecurities and wonder how and when it transformed into my strengths and when did I actually become so oblivious of my insecurities. Not that my pimples don’t bother me anymore! They do. They just don’t alter my life in anyway, anymore. With time and age, I have simply learnt to overcome my insecurities and accept my flaws and not be so harsh and mean on myself. So...