Why is it OK to not have what we want? When we want and how we want it!

"You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need" - The Rolling Stones 


Well, it happens to all of us. A break up. Career mishap.  Loss of a loved one. We don’t always get what we want.  

When I broke up with my boyfriend in my second year of college, I was devastated. I thought it was the end of my life. I kept plotting ways to win him back and couldn't imagine my life without him. I was beleaguered for months and I couldn’t find a way out of my unending sufferings. I burnt pictures of us together. I would curse him one day and try to coax him back into relation, the next day. I prayed. I cried. I spent sleepless nights. I searched for answers. Why did it happen to me? What did I do wrong? Why couldn’t it work out? Series of my friends’ counseling and intervention didn’t work either.

And just like that, he walked out of my thoughts and memories eventually.  

After my return to Kathmandu in the year 2008, I had applied for a job in a reputed school in Lalitpur. I confidently went for a walk in interview on a Saturday morning with all my credentials. Having returned from India, I was of a belief that it would be very easy for me to find a job of my interest. As I had graduated from a prestigious university in India and thought of myself as “a smart, intelligent candidate with an appealing personality” for any post that I’d apply, I wasn’t prepared to struggle to find a job. The reality of it all would hit me little later.

Prior to the interview, I was asked to fill out a form and appear for a written test. I did my test pretty well and was selected for an interview which happened on the same day. I like to believe that I was quite impressive during the interview. I answered all the questions with confidence and right amount of wit. Hopeful and happy, I walked out of school only to realize a few days later that I had carried the form, which I was supposed to leave there, with me. How Stupid!

What followed was days of writing emails and calling the school to no avail. I really thought I deserved that position and if not for my small stupidity, I could have easily got that job.

While all this happened, I was clueless of the fact that later in my life I would work in a place where I’d meet two loves of my life. Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Him (names not in order of ranking).

All the clichés, “Everything happens for a reason”, If it’s meant to be, it will be”, “time heals all wounds”, seem shallow when you don’t get what you want.

When we don’t get what we want, in spite of doing everything we can to get it, we resort to beg to the higher being. We wait for a miracle. We desperately want someone to fix it all for us.

Why do we find it so difficult to accept things in our life that are beyond our control?

A job that we want but can’t get. A job that we don’t enjoy but have. Get rid of some stupid habit of our loved ones. An extra inch of height and an extra loss of weight. One less pimple and one more day to the weekend. One more minute of sleep and one more opportunity to make things right.

We don’t always get what we want but what we get is opportunities. Opportunities to learn and do something about things we don’t like in our life.

I write this as I find myself stuck in something for the last few weeks. We have been trying to find a restaurant which can provide meal for our twenty children at a subsidized rate. Obviously we haven’t found one yet and the children have already joined school. We are working on it and we know we will find a solution to it someday. This whole process has been tiring and the wait is painful but we are certain that on the other side of all this, we will be better and stronger.

Guess that’s how life is!

We don’t always get what we want, how we want and when we want it. But while working through it, we learn to be better and stronger. We learn to grow patient and persistent.  Most importantly, we learn to fix our problems without depending on anybody, not even a higher being. A prayer can heal our heart, give solace but a broken tap has to be fixed and not dwelt upon. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bringing transformative changes in my class for deep learning

Image
The first year of teaching online was challenging and there were moments when I felt like a failure but along with it, there were also a lot of opportunities to learn and grow myself personally and professionally. Towards the end of last academic year, I spent some time reflecting on my classroom practices and how I could make a greater impact in this new academic year. While exploring some learning ideas on the internet, I came across this four weeks’ course on edx titled ‘ Deep Learning through Transformative Pedagogy ’. I signed up for it and although it took me more than four weeks to complete the course, not because the course was not planned well but because I had other commitments that sidelined the course, I am so excited to share what I have learned from this course with you all.  While waiting for my final grades, I thought I would write this post because there is no better way to learn than through peer teaching. In this blog post, I will summarize some of the key lear...
Read more

The story of my ectopic pregnancy because that's just what it is!

Image
Almost a year ago, I survived a life threatening medical emergency. Let me just put it out straight. I had an ectopic pregnancy rupture and by the time I checked into the hospital, it was already too late.  So this was last December. Argentina was playing the world cup semi-final that night. I had a lower abdomen pain since 3 in the afternoon with slight spotting and I clearly ignored the symptoms. I went to see a gynaecologist after school who casually remarked that it could have happened because I had taken a pill. She advised me to get an ultrasound done but this wasn't my regular gynaecologist so I wasn't keen on doing an USG and thought that I could wait for one more day until my GYNAEC came back. So I again ignored the symptoms and went home to take some rest. I was a bit alarmed when the pain didn't subside even after I took a painkiller. It was only around 10 at night when I finally decided to go to the hospital again. Just to be 'on a safe side'. 🙄 Even wh...
Read more

Just a kiss!

Image
It was 7p.m. when she reached home. She unlocked the door to her apartment and hung the key on the keyholder above the shoe rack. She carefully put her shoes in the bottom shelf of the rack and took out her indoor slippers from the top. She put her handbag on top of the coffee table and went to the kitchen. She washed her hands before she put a cup of water to boil on the stove. She added a spoon of tea leaves. She opened the door to the verandah and went out to pick some mint leaves from the flower pot. She rinsed the leaves and put it into the water boiling on the stove. She poured the tea into a mug and carried it to the living room. She lay a tea coaster on the table and put the mug on top of it. She unbuttoned her pants and unclipped her bra and sighed as she sat down on the couch. She looked around and closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the taste of mint in her mouth and silence surrounding her. This was a rare moment for her.  Usually, she picked up her son from his schoo...
Read more