In Health and Sickness!

Having lost a close relative to cancer recently, my family members have been moved, stunned and saddened by the demise. She was a fighter. They say she was hopeful even until her last few days. I remember meeting her about a month before she passed away. She didn’t speak much but she had a smile on her face. She looked calm and composed.

It was around 3a.m. when my parents knocked on my door and said they had to rush to the hospital. I could guess the reason. The next morning, my father called me to ask if I would like to come to Pashupati to pay my last tributes. I wasn’t sure. I had never before gone to Aryaghat. I decided to go. Upon arrival at Pashupati Aryaghat, I got the chills, goose bumps and before I even realized, I was crying. I heard my cousin sister wailing for the mother she had lost. I saw my nieces weeping silently and consoling their mother. I saw the men putting up a bold face and doing what had to be done to carry out the funeral rites.  My heart felt heavy and it was becoming extremely difficult for me to stay any longer. I decided to leave. The experience was overwhelming. The sounds of people crying. The smell of funeral pyre. The sight of bystanders. I wish I never had to go back to Aryaghat. The thought that it’s so inevitable is even more frightening.

Just a few days ago, another very close relative of mine was diagnosed with cancer. It was heartbreaking and completely unexpected. She was hale and hearty before something odd was discovered in the process of a general health checkup. Everyone in my family has been in a constant communication since the diagnosis. I have realized that the disease brings much sadness but it also brings all of us closer. Everyone is coming up with a suggestion on which doctor to consult, where it would be best to receive the treatment, words of encouragement and so much more. The disease, the pain it brings and the sadness it causes is unavoidable but alongside, sharing our strength and love definitely makes it little less painful for everyone. 

I met my aunt, who was diagnosed with cancer, the night before. It was a pleasure to see her smiling and chatting. It is certain that she is living the toughest days of her life but to see her so hopeful and positive has filled me, and I am sure so many of my other relatives, with so much hopes and positive thoughts. She maintained her usual demeanor and left me wondering how can someone be so brave. It is in moments like those that one learns important lessons of life. I learnt one that night. 

Here, I would like to relate that lesson with another one I have learnt in the course of teaching. There is a chapter in Grade IX of “Our English” book, titled "The Joy of Being Alive". It gives a very strong but a simple message and it has been my favorite. It says not to stop living before our heart stops beating. I like to believe that the certainty of death, loss and pain in life makes living more appealing and joyful. There are just so many things to complain about everyday. So many occasions we want to give up on something. So many days we simply live without appreciating and being thankful for all the blessings we have been bestowed upon with. So many moments and people we take for granted. So many nights we sleep in without resolving a fight. So many words we speak ruthlessly.

And seldom comes a day when we clearly see and count our blessings and be thankful for what we have and life we live. And every once in a while also comes a reminder to live our life being optimistic, hopeful and in happiness. In health and sickness, living like it was our last day.