Why I think new moms deserve better!

My son was only 11 days old when we had to take him to Teaching Hospital. The doctor did few tests and we had to wait for few hours until the results came in. So were in a room with a woman and her son who was there for his appendicitis treatment.

11 days postpartum with my child in an emergency room, I already had a lot of things to worry about when this woman asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding my child. She did have a lot of other questions such as why I wasn't wearing a patuki. Why I didn't have a shawl or a scarf covering my head? I didn't care to answer all her questions or dwell on what she was saying until the senior doctor showed up and asked why I wasn't breastfeeding. I don't know why but I felt like I needed to explain to this doctor that my 11 days' old child was struggling to latch properly and although I wasn't breastfeeding, I was still giving him breast milk. The doctor didn't look convinced with my explanation and asked which hospital I had delivered in. She asked me if my doctors from the other hospital didn't tell me that I must breastfeed.

After the results came in and we went home, I was determined to breastfeed. It suddenly felt so wrong that I wasn't breastfeeding my little one. I told myself that I had to do it anyhow. It was only a month or two later that my son started latching properly and breastfed exclusively.

Almost ten months later, when I look back at my early postpartum days I feel so sorry for myself.... for how I was. For the lack of knowledge on how difficult breastfeeding could be for some new moms. I was so naive. I remember how pressurized I felt to breastfeed from the moment I first held my child.

10 months later- having thoroughly enjoyed feeding whatever and however I feed my child, I want to go back and educate myself better. I want to tell myself that it's ok if I don't breastfeed. Of course,breast milk is good and all but a new mom deserves a better treatment. She is better off  without being told how important breast milk is or you know what's worse....Lying in bed in pain while people come and go and scrutinize your breasts and some may even choose to press them for that few drops of colostrum.

You know why I am writing this now...Because I bet it's not only me who has experienced what I have experienced. Because it's important that a new mom is treated better.

Next time you meet a new mom, don't ask her how or what she's feeding and definitely don't ask her why. Don't give her an advice she didn't ask for. Don't tell her what she's supposed to do as a new mom. Don't seek justification for the choices she has made for herself or her child. Help her. Go change that diaper. Help her clean up. Cook for her. Talk to her about good things. Praise her for her efforts. If she's bottle feeding, sterilize that bottle for her. If she is feeding formula, help her prepare it. Boil some water and refill that thermos. Do whatever you can to help. Don't judge!

And to all the new moms, you know what's best for your child. Hold that baby a little longer. Kiss and cuddle. Sleep and laugh a little more. You are a superwoman. You have carried your child for nine months and if you had to, you would do it all over again. Don't let that doctor tell you that you are not doing good. Don't let that aunt teach you skills you don't need. Don't listen to that neighbor who clearly doesn't know a thing about you or your child.

More than anything else, its important how you feel about yourself, about your child and about your body that has gone through so much.
Enjoy your motherhood.....You are doing good!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bringing transformative changes in my class for deep learning

Image
The first year of teaching online was challenging and there were moments when I felt like a failure but along with it, there were also a lot of opportunities to learn and grow myself personally and professionally. Towards the end of last academic year, I spent some time reflecting on my classroom practices and how I could make a greater impact in this new academic year. While exploring some learning ideas on the internet, I came across this four weeks’ course on edx titled ‘ Deep Learning through Transformative Pedagogy ’. I signed up for it and although it took me more than four weeks to complete the course, not because the course was not planned well but because I had other commitments that sidelined the course, I am so excited to share what I have learned from this course with you all.  While waiting for my final grades, I thought I would write this post because there is no better way to learn than through peer teaching. In this blog post, I will summarize some of the key lear...
Read more

The story of my ectopic pregnancy because that's just what it is!

Image
Almost a year ago, I survived a life threatening medical emergency. Let me just put it out straight. I had an ectopic pregnancy rupture and by the time I checked into the hospital, it was already too late.  So this was last December. Argentina was playing the world cup semi-final that night. I had a lower abdomen pain since 3 in the afternoon with slight spotting and I clearly ignored the symptoms. I went to see a gynaecologist after school who casually remarked that it could have happened because I had taken a pill. She advised me to get an ultrasound done but this wasn't my regular gynaecologist so I wasn't keen on doing an USG and thought that I could wait for one more day until my GYNAEC came back. So I again ignored the symptoms and went home to take some rest. I was a bit alarmed when the pain didn't subside even after I took a painkiller. It was only around 10 at night when I finally decided to go to the hospital again. Just to be 'on a safe side'. 🙄 Even wh...
Read more

Just a kiss!

Image
It was 7p.m. when she reached home. She unlocked the door to her apartment and hung the key on the keyholder above the shoe rack. She carefully put her shoes in the bottom shelf of the rack and took out her indoor slippers from the top. She put her handbag on top of the coffee table and went to the kitchen. She washed her hands before she put a cup of water to boil on the stove. She added a spoon of tea leaves. She opened the door to the verandah and went out to pick some mint leaves from the flower pot. She rinsed the leaves and put it into the water boiling on the stove. She poured the tea into a mug and carried it to the living room. She lay a tea coaster on the table and put the mug on top of it. She unbuttoned her pants and unclipped her bra and sighed as she sat down on the couch. She looked around and closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the taste of mint in her mouth and silence surrounding her. This was a rare moment for her.  Usually, she picked up her son from his schoo...
Read more